WHY are we afraid? Why do we dwell on worst-case scenarios and react to minor mishaps as though they are a matter of life and death?
Fear is an instinctive response when our survival is threatened or our belief systems challenged. Healthy fear is an important part of our defence mechanism which keeps us on our toes and alert to danger. But fear, if left unchecked, can grow into a neurotic anxiety that can be paralysing as it leaves us in a state of worry, panic and non-specific tension.
Constant fear
undermines relationships, increases stress levels and causes unfavourable
physical signs such as insomnia, exhaustion, heart palpitations, shortness of
breath and dizziness.
We are routinely
altered by fear during the course of a normal day - from simply feeling nervous
about a new experience to repeatedly rethinking a critical comment. Like a
chameleon, fear takes on disguises in the form of jealousy, anger, sadness,
irritation and doubt.
Most of our
fears have no real danger or threat attached. They are merely mental events
with no objectives to support them, but we are so affected by them that our
natural biological instinct sets off an elaborate alarm system in our bodies
and minds, triggering physical responses that appear very real to us.
Have you ever
wondered what the source of fear is? What does it tell us about our nature?
We are afraid of
the unknown. Fear is so influential because deep inside, we know that our life
is unpredictable and that we are all vulnerable. Change is the very essence of
life. When we resist this fact, we become insecure and confused.
Until we realise
that our fears originate in our awareness of the impermanence of life, we blame
other people, places and situations for making us feel vulnerable.
Attempts to
control our fears or to escape from them are futile as they keep us trapped in
the self-made prison of our mind. We miss out the joys of living because we are
too busy finding ways how to stay alive. What a paradox!
Ernest Becker
beautifully puts it down in his 1974 Pulitzer Prize winning book, Denial Of Death,
as "the individual has to protect himself against the terror of the
world... and his own anxieties. The essence of normality is the refusal of
reality".
Becker wrote
this while he was dying of cancer and was seeking answers to his fears. His
terminal diagnosis made his "refusal of reality" impossible to
maintain.
We conveniently
push the vulnerability of our actual human condition away so we can live the
lie that we are solid and stable until we face a crisis like Becker's. The
wake-up call can be in the form of the death of a loved one, a divorce,
bankruptcy, an illness or a near-death experience.
It is
fundamental that we learn to embrace fear as an opportunity to cultivate a
deeper understanding of ourselves and to see the danger as a rite of passage,
initiating us into our authentic selves.
When you follow
fear down to its core, you always come out on the other side in an ocean of
love. The origin of fear is the love of life. By transforming fear, you will be
freed to realise your full potential for joy, love and oneness with the
universe - the innate spiritual qualities that make up who you are.
Here is a simple
exercise you can do to embrace your fears.
1. Sit quietly
and breathe into your heart centre. Gently opening and relaxing your body.
2. Allow the
fear to arise within your loving acceptance. Find where it is in your body,
mind and heart. Is it in the past, present or future?
3. Do not hide
from fear. Get to know it. Feel it and breathe into it. Let it grow stronger
and more intense till it pervades your entire body. Stay present during the
entire process.
4. Question the
fear. Where does it come from? What does it want you to know?
5. Fear
maintains its hold on you by being nameless. Break free by finding its source
and naming it. Define it and release it by breathing into it.
If you do this
process correctly, you will discover a sense of peace at the end.
Learning to
respond skillfully to your fears and to utilise your vulnerability as the
opening to the reservoir of love inside you is the essence of wisdom. The
feeling of overwhelming joy and freedom will illuminate your life with a fresh,
new perspective once you have a taste of it.
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